Week1:How to Make your Smile Charmingly Different?

In 1936, Dale Carnegie wrote the ‘six musts’ in his famous book ‘How to win friends and influence people’. Take a look at the world leaders, negotiators and corporate giants. None of them are too quick with their smile. However, they have enriched their smile, so when it erupts, the world smiles with them.

A young lady took over the CEO position successfully when her father passed away. During an interview, she said her secret is in her smile. When her dad was sick and wanted her to take over the business, he showed her a newspaper article quoting a study showing that women who were slower to smile in corporate life were perceived to be more credible. The study went on and says a big, warm smile is an asset, only when it comes a little slower, because then it has more credibility.

Technique #1: Delay your Smile

Don’t flash an immediate smile when you greet someone. Instead, look at the other person face for a second, pause, and then let a big warm responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes. This split-second delay convinces people your smile is genuine and only for them.

Week 2: How to strike everyone as intelligent and insightful by using your eyes?

Your eyes are powerful weapons to change people’s emotions. In a study, a researcher asked opposite-sex individuals to have a two minute conversation, but tricked half their subjects to maintain intense eye contract by telling them to count the number their partner blinked. The result, the unsuspected blinkers reported higher feelings of respect and liking from their partners whom were counting their blinks. There is another study for intense eye contact. In addition to awakening feelings of respect and affection, maintaining strong eye contact gives you the impression of being an intelligent and abstract thinker.

Technique #2: Sticky Eyes

Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner’s with glue. Don’t break eye contact even after he or she stops talking. When you look away, do it slowly and reluctantly.

Week 3: How to use your eyes to make someone like with you.

NOTE : Please use this technique wisely.

Usually when you are chatting with two or more people, you make eye contact with the talking person. However, a simple glance or sweep of your sight in line with the person whom you want to impact will transmit a magical feeling to this target individual. This individual will think that you are more interested in him or her than the speaker who you are engaged with. He or she will sense that you are extremely interested in his/her reaction. This is best done when you are originally speaking with someone who knows this tactic, so not to show them disrespect.

Technique #3: Third party glance

Watch your target individual even when someone is talking. No matter who is speaking, keep looking at the man or women you want to impact. In some culture, this would be impolite to the speaker, so in this case a higher frequency of short sweeps and glance at the subject’s eyes will be enough to create an impact.

Week 4: How to look like a big winner whenever you go?

When the doctor smacks your knee with a rubber hammer, your foot jerks forward. This is called knee-jerk reaction and is instinctive. When a big jolt of happiness hits your heart, such as winning the lottery, you feel like a winner, and consequently your body changes. Your head lifts up automatically and your shoulder lift with pride. A smile comes across your lips and you walk lightly as though you are carried by the wind. So why not carry the look of a winner constantly? They stand with assurance and move with confidence. Good posture symbolises that you are an individual who is used to being on top. Your emotion affects your physiology, at the same time, you physiology affects your emotion. For most people, controlling your body is easier than your emotion. Therefore, your posture is your success barometer.

Technique #4: Walk into a room with a presence.

It takes 21 days to replace an old habit. Practice “I have won a MILLION Dollar lottery” posture every time you walk through a doorway….. Normally about 60 times a day. After 21 days, people around you will feel the different “air” in you.

Week 5: How to make someone feel like an old friend at once?

When we are meeting someone for the first time, our brains are very busy; fighting off shyness, sizing up people and the overall situation. We are unconsciously deciding what we want from this potential relationship. When we think this way, our body will also react indicate our train of thought, thus we sometimes find it hard to find a comfort zone which we could be ourselves.

We can play a mental trick on ourselves by visualizing that this new acquaintance is our long lost old friend that we have had a wonderful relationship in the past. But somehow you lost his contact and have been looking for him for years. Then suddenly, WOW! What a surprise… after all these years, the two of you are reunited.

Technique #5: Hello Old Friend

When meeting someone, imagine he or she is an old friend that you have lost contact for years. You are all full of joy in seeing him or her. This joyful experience will trick your body from subconsciously softening of your eye brow to other parts of your body.

Week 6: How to let others be aware you are a good listener?

Do not be too quick to interrupt when someone mentions a common interest or experience. Instead of jumping into “Hey, me too!”, “I do that too!”, or “I heard that before!” just let the other party continue and remember to nod and smile. A few years ago, a new contact began telling me about a recent holiday to Singapore. (She had no idea that I am a Singaporean). She told me about the garden city, the food, the durians, the people, etc. She was so excited about it and I was enjoying listening to her. I asked her where she stayed, dined and did she get a chance to visited Sentosa Island and Orchard Road. At one point, she said, “you seem to know a lot about Singapore” and I replied, “It’s my country, but I have not been back for years”. She thought it would be boring for me, but I told her I was enjoying hearing about her holiday so much that she would stop if I told her earlier.

Technique #6: Do not say “Me too! I heard that before! ” to quick

Whenever someone shares a story, a common interest or experience, the longer you wait to reveal it, the more impressed he or she will be. You stand out as a confident person, not an armature trying a quick connection with stranger. DO NOT WAIT TOO LONG, however, to reveal your shared interest or it will seem like you are being tricky or cunning.

Week 7: Twenty-Six Miles on my Mattress

Years ago, a marathon runner was injured a few weeks just before the marathon. All his friends thought he was crazy, when he appears on that day and participating in the run. He told his friend, “My body has been in bed, but I have been running”. Every day, twentysix miles right there in my mattress. He imagined the whole run every day, seeing the things on the journey and smelling his sweat. He visualized himself running the marathon and while he did not run as well as he did the previous year, he did finish!

Technique # 7: Watch the scene before you make the scene.

Rehearse being the ‘somebody’ you want to be ahead of time. SEE yourself walking with confidence, smiling, shaking hands and making sticky eyes. HEAR yourself chatting with others comfortably with everyone and FEEL that everyone gravitates towards you. VISUALIZE yourself as SOMEBODY… then it will happen automatically.

Week 8: You don’t have to be right to win.

The saying goes, “The more incompetent a person is, the more right he has to be.” Sometimes letting the other win temporary will let you be wiser person. Once a co-worker was helping me in translation of my lesson materials. I tried out a little game by asking her to count the number of ‘f’s in a sentence. She was so confident that there were 8 ‘f’s and would bet a dinner on that. I took the bet and let her win and had our dinner that evening. A few days later, she was sitting-in on my training and found that there were actually 9 ‘f’s. After the training, she invited me for dinner and asked why I let her win. I replied: “I know you would not accept my dinner invitation for helping me, so what better excuse can I have to thank you from helping me with my translation?”

Technique #8: Let others win if you have little or nothing to lose.

Remember don’t ‘Win a battle and lose the war.’ Most people like the winning feeling, so that that win and feed their ego a little. Sometimes, they will not know who the real winner is, but you know. This will create a very positive in you and will mould you to be a person of super personality